Are You "Middle Aged" ?

For those of you who are not sure; Here are some hints !

• If you read the paper at arms length; You are “Middle Aged” (Buy a pair of reading glasses) 
• If loud music disturbs you; You are “Middle Aged"

• If you need help from your kids to download and run a computer program; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you see your mother/ father when you look into the mirror; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you wake up in the morning feeling tired; You are “Middle Aged”
• If your hairdresser and make-up bills are growing; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you have aches and pains on a regular basis; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you don’t miss the evening news; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you are doing a comb-over or growing a ponytail; You are in a “Mid Life Crisis” (shoot yourself)
• If sex begins to seem like a chore; You are “Middle Aged”
• If certain foods don’t “agree” with you; You are “Middle Aged”
• If smart phones and TV remotes confuse you; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you are considering “Botox”; You are “Middle Aged”
• If health shows on TV ( Dr. Oz ) grab your attention; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you begin stories with “in my days”; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you re-connect with old friends on facebook (the ones you didn’t bother to call for 20 years): You are “Middle Aged”
• If you make “grunting” noises when getting in or out of your car; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you have begun to dress “sensibly”; You are “Middle Aged”
• If you have more than 5 prescription drugs, vitamins or supplements in your medicine cabinet; You are “Middle Aged”
• And Finally
• If your logic overrides your feelings; You are “Middle Aged”